There are times in life that just feel so out of time. We, as a family, are going through one of those times right now. This July saw the death of a very good man and my father-in-law. I have written this blog post several times because I just really can’t convey the level of emotion that I’ve been feeling these past few weeks. It’s no secret that I’m private about my personal life on my online business pages, and baring my family’s emotional state seems a bit too raw and exploitative for my taste.
On the other hand, I feel like he shouldn’t be hidden, because when all is said and done, he was a good man, in the truest sense. He was the kind of person who doesn’t steal the spotlight to show you how amazing he is. Rather, you didn’t really know it until you thought about it later and realized just how subtly kind he was. For instance, one day my husband told me, somewhat offhandedly in a casual conversation, a story about how his father had seen a family begging on the street in the winter time and walked into a nearby store to buy them all coats and help them out as much as he could at that moment in time. And that doesn’t even touch on the amount of love and care he gave to a homeless man; making it his personal mission to find him housing, food, and medication. Imagine if everyone privileged enough to own a home was so kind.
At the dinner table, my father-in-law and my husband would often argue various points of law and politics, and occasionally I would jump in to give what was likely an over-passionate argument. My husband and his father were always extremely close, and more than once it has struck me that we were incredibly lucky to have not one set of parents, but two who have remained married and in love for many, many years, and a good relationship with all of them. He also loved his grandchildren, and the last thing I saw him do; blow a kiss to my daughter from his bed, will remain imprinted in my memory forever.
As I take a bit of a meditative time out from the goings on in the world to help my husband and his family grieve, I find myself taking the time to think about what’s important in this life and what means the most to me. The conclusion I’ve come to is that maybe that’s what really makes a good life: quiet acts of kindness, a family whom you love, and a generous soul.